We always think of trauma as something big, like psychical abuse or neglect, but we can have the best parents in the world and still experience trauma. The nervous system works in mysterious ways and a small thing like being lost in a supermarket for half an hour, can already cause abandonment trauma.

Parents that are very loving and caring, might be a bit overprotective, which can subconsciously give the child the message that the world is dangerous and the child can feel it has no skills to deal with these dangers itself, which can cause anxiety later on in life.

That kind of trauma can be stored in the body, in the autonomous nervous system, and certain situations, even the ones that seem minor in the eyes of others, can trigger such stored trauma, which causes a set of survival mechanisms that doesn’t seem to fit the actual situation. As a child we don’t have the capacity to know if certain situations are a real threat to our lives, or perceived threats. The child unknowingly could think it might die (like being left in a supermarket), and that’s where a pattern can be created to survive in that specific situation, but will be used in adult life too. Even though the adult knows how to deal with that situation, the nervous system tells the body something else, and without even realizing we react from that place of fear. So how can we tackle this? Well, we also need the help of others in this. We can have a blind spot ourselves if we react a certain way that doesn’t match the situation, so also look for incongruency in this one and ask your friends for honest advice. Once we start to recognize in our body’s that the nervous system is activated (like an increase in heartbeat, sweaty palms, lump in throat, swirls in your stomach, overall a panicky feeling) we can start regulate the trigger ourselves, and with this the nervous system calms down. And then we can look into our healthy boundaries and needs on the matter.

This guided meditation is about how to calm your nervous system.

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