So if you think this “inner child work” I keep talking about is nonsense, I have a question for you. Did you ever feel the need to punish your partner?
This is an inner child response of the hurt child and the angry child. And I still do this!
Yesterday I woke up, took my phone and I just started crying right away about some silly video that I saw on Facebook. I knew then, this is going to be one of those days! And yes, later I found out I got my period.

Then a thing happened that that made me very upset and angry! And I felt stuck!
And then I also saw that my ex was ignoring my texts from the last days, about some stupid Facebook post. Being ignored triggers my biggest childhood wound! And the angry child within said: “punish him for ignoring you! Take him out on his weakest spot! Say you are going to through his djembe in the ocean!”

So I texted him! While at the same time knowing I was completely unreasonable and I shouldn’t do this, I still did it. I texted him with all my anger, saying the word fuck a lot, and threatening to throw his djembe in to the ocean for his childish behavior of ignoring me.

I allowed myself being angry. I allowed myself being toxic. I allowed the shame that came with letting this behavior out. I allowed my shadow parts to be seen. And at the same trying to minimize the damage. Not saying the really hurtful things that you know you can never take back!
And he took the bait! He got angry back! And the weird part was… I loved it! I Loved fighting with him. Because I knew it was safe. I knew we would make up again because we have been here before. We have showed each other our most ugly parts! And we are still friends!

And then an hour later he called me, with his beautiful deep voice. I picked up, saying hi very shy and insecure. And he said: Hi, so, how are you? And I just cried and cried and sobbed. I told him what was really going on. And I apologized for projecting my anger on him. And we had a beautiful talk about life. And I felt so seen and accepted for who I was, even with all of my shadowparts! That was connection!

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