My friend Veerle from www.leadherschipschool.com has taught me a lot about the impact of the hormone cycle on a woman. I can’t explain it as well as she can (go to her website and check her workshops) but the hormone cycle exists of the winter (the menstruation), the spring (until a bit before the ovulation) the summer (around the ovulation), the autumn (after the ovulation).
This weekend I fell super hard into the autumn, and it hurt… a lot!
Me and Wendy recorded our podcast Relove. And immediately when we started I could feel I was in my head too much. I was super critical of myself (a symptom of the autumn). After 15 minutes into the podcast I got stuck. Wendy noticed and we decided to start over. But I should have stopped. I was not in my flow, way too frustrated, just a hot mess.
Afterwards I wanted to edit the podcast and this was a disaster. There was an echo and I had to learn how to fix it. I took me fucking 8 hours. And I did this purely on willpower. While cursing and screaming out of frustration.
Finally at 7 I was done.I decided to listen to it one more time, to find out a couple of sentences were completely muted… but… I hadn’t saved it! 8 hours for nothing. That moment my world collapsed. Yes, it felt that heavy. I was so angry and upset. I sent Wendy a voicenote crying and screaming (the poor woman thought I was mad at her, I’m so sorry Wendy).
And then I got the message that 5 people canceled my workshop for tomorrow. I needed to vent so I called my friend, and when she didn’t answer I was super upset and angry. And that was it. I was done. I lost all hope. In myself and in the universe. The rage overtook my body. And I was scared of myself. Ashamed about my outburst that hurt the people around me.
Today Veerle explained me more about the autumn. It is the period where I’m most in touch with my emotions. Where I speak the truth. Where I say no. Where I know where to go. Where I can see through peoples bullshit. But I’m struggling. This is the time where I need others to just hold space and let me be one with my fury.
You want to know more about holding space? Send me PM for a free discovery session.